MUSINGS

Today a random guys on the bus told meI was absolutely stunning. I don't think I've ever been called that before (albeit he was a little bit deranged looking).

I wish for so many things.

Mostly things that I can never change.

Sometimes people are just too difficult for me.
No matter what I do it's never good enough for people who are closest to me.
And I guess that's mostly true.

Who wants close when you can have acquantainces right?
Who wants people?

I wish I could speak the things I so "eloquently" put into writing.
This sucks.

When you've got to tell yourself, don't try so hard.
It means you're trying too hard.

Never thought that I'd have to try so hard.
I'm used to it being different. I'm scared. What if it's not right for me?


awakened by the smell of awesome food..maybe I'm hungry.

YOU KNOW WHAT

I thought I had very little tolerance.

But apparently I have more tolerance than I thought.

I.....

just need to be sure

SO MANY DRAFTS

Only once chance at life, I should do things differently.

Only one way to live, would I live differently?

The things I frame as questions are more often than not, statements.
When situations are framed as questions, the possibility of choosing exists.

Very often in life, the situation is a statement not a question.

So, is this time a statement or a question.

WRONG SENTENCES

Today I woke up and I was sad. For no reason. Is that wrong?

Today I woke up and I was sad but I pretended to be happy. Is that wrong?

Today I woke up and I was sad but I felt like I couldn't tell anyone because I was sad for no reason, therefore I had to pretend I was happy.

I think I'll be happy tomorrow.

I FEEL

Strange.





















My feelings don't match my thoughts, my thoughts don't match my expressions.
I feel scarily out of place in my own comfort zone.
















It's as though I haven't allowed myself to...feel.
I've laughed without feeling happy and cried without actually being sad.
Maybe this is growing up. No time for feelings.






















Being of melancholic temperament, I have the propensity to think of the cup as half empty rather than half full.

























I''m too blessed to be sad.
Too lucky to be emo.






















I tell myself to snap out of it.

























And I will
Tomorrow I'll feel normal again. Tomorrow I'll feel like me again.




















But right now, I just feel....weird.

I'm sad.

=(


3 posts in one day.
Want to say I busy also no one will believe.

I have a distorted perception of perfection.


I'm sick and tired of not knowing and not caring.
And yet at other times I'm sick and tired of knowing and caring.

I'm tired of wanting things I don't need.
I'm tired of needing to do things that I don't want to do.


Sometimes things are just so unclear.

I wish you weren't so far away.

I wish I could remain in Malaysia longer.